I have to admit that I very blur toward relationship things. Last year Valentine's Day he does invited me out for dinner, but throughout the whole night he let me felt that it just a normal dinner, same old conversation, he didn’t even said a word of Happy Valentine. On that night I really want to ask him "you treat me as what" but end up I never.
For me he always been very busy with his work and I knew that he very pressure at work but sometime either he called or I called half way through the conversation he have incoming call he will just said have incoming call, call you back later but never and sometime never reply your's sms. I really hate it.
Throughout these few months he does really advised, teached and helped me out in many issues and I really appreciated. All the while I don't know what I want I been so blur about my career/future I basically do nothing and he is the one that wake me up and make me think deeply and seriously what I can do and what I should do and I do learned a lot of knowledge from him. Deep under my heart I do really want to said/ convey my thank you to him.
He is very mature for his ages, high ambition person and knows what he want/ achieve and he really love his's mother. He is also a very determine person once he decided what he want to do it, not matter how difficult or hard he will achieve it. But don't know why he always said he want to quit smoking, he do tried it but eventually start to smoke back again. Money can’t buy back health, really want to tell him that do not take pressures as excuses to smoke and drink.
He really hurt me and make me very sad on my's birthday. I do reserve the day for him, he got called me on that day but talk about other issues not even a word of happy birthday. I 100% sure that he knew that day was my birthday. And 1 week after my birthday was his birthday I knew he was at overseas, I some more stupid enough to send him sms and wished him Happy Birthday as usual never reply not even a word of thank you.
Since I send out the sms last year June until now already half a year past I keep telling myself to let go and forget about it but I know down under my heart I still want to find out the truth or the answer “he treat me as what?” I don't know what he mean of “hope that day will come and you will understand it or one day you will realise it”. Time will heal and I thought I already recover but last week two incident let me realised that I not yet fully recover. Shit!!!! I know my friends will scold me like hell and I know not worth it but I still not yet 100% let go, how stupid I am :(
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